Gwendolyn is coming home soon. Very soon. There will be more to come about this as the days approach, of course, and I suppose that the very topic will soon come to dominate the rest of this month's posts.
In short time, Gwen will fly away from Ramadi, and then out of Iraq, to Kuwait, and finally to Germany. And then something magical will happen. I'll actually get to SEE my girlfriend again.
When I try to wrap my head around the fact that I haven't seen Gwendolyn since Tuesday, January 17th, 2006, I just can't quite do it. It's too surreal. It seems like a LIFETIME ago. And as her return approaches, my giddiness rises. I'm like a 10-year-old in mid-December waiting for Santa to come. (Only in this case, Army-style, its like Santa is coming in from the desert - not the North Pole - and he has to fly on a C-130 rather than a sleigh. And before he can really get going, he has to wait in formations for hours at a time, only to disband and be told to come back in two hours to wait some more. And he has to wear body armor and a helmet for a large portion of the journey. And of course the date for Christmas isn't fixed. Rather, its being worked out over an interval, and it's dependent on helicopter-friendly winds, military protocol, operation security, civilian charter contracts, gun-truck escorted bus rides to the Kuwaiti airport,German customs, and.... Well I guess its a little different.) Regardless, the anticipation mounts with each passing day, and as I move about the house I find myself looking at furniture and thinking, "Soon Gwendolyn will be sitting in that chair!" or "Soon Gwendolyn and I will be watching movies on this couch!" (or, "Soon Gwendolyn and I will be in this bed and..."), and the like. In short, I cannot wait.
I have been able to sense a distinct elevation in her mood during our phone conversations the past few weeks, which has been awesome. Whether or not she realizes it, she's becoming her old self again. And it's a phenomenal feeling to return from deployment. I can vividly recall my own emotions upon coming back, and I find myself smiling at the prospect of her encountering those same experiences. There are good times ahead.
Today in thinking about all this I went back and re-read my post about when she left. It's a sad post, and it recalls a sad day, and even now when I read that post and I think about that awful night my hands shake a little and I nearly tear up. Feeling helpless to soothe someone you care so much about as they march inevitably toward further misery is a gut-wrenching sensation. But at the same time, there is something to be said for the magnitude of power in that emotion. Because as low as I was that night, as horrible as I felt for her, I know that it will rebound and then some the second I have my Gwendolyn back. And THAT feeling - when we first embrace - is something I'm really, really looking forward to.
There are indeed good times ahead.
3 comments:
Woot! That's what this war is all about; bringing loved ones together. (After separating them, killing some of them, scarring mentally all of them, and screwing around with lots of other people. But in the end, it's bringing people together.)
I don't think I have any concept of war.
Love is a powerful thing!!
I am more excited to see you than clean showers, alcohol, real clothes and good food.
That should tell you just how high you rank in my estimation.
Within a week, you will have one ecstatic Gwendolyn on your hands, all giggly and bouncy.
That day will be the Best Ever.
Gwendolyn Marie
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