Life is busy. Not a lot of time for quality posting at the moment – this despite a lot going on. I finished out my week doing night shifts for cardiology. One night (Tuesday) was absolutely crazy – like an episode of ER but for real. Perhaps I’ll tell the tale later.

Mick flicks needs updating – I’ve seen “A Clockwork Orange” (continuing on my Kubrick fetish), “Supersize Me”, and “Kill Bill – Volume 2” all in a span of 3 days. All interesting films.

The most excitement, however, is generated by my new apartment. I picked up the keys on Saturday and walked in to the fresh paint smell for the first time. I’m really pumped to be living in the city. I now have sweet, secure underground parking in the heart of Capitol Hill (my neighborhood), a place know for its hideous parking situation. Last night I got the place, moved a few things in (including a futon that I slept on), and hung out in the city. There’s a grocery store about a block away, so I stocked up on some essentials. Then, got a burrito at “Bimbo’s Bitchin’ Burrito” (also a block away). Afterward, I wandered to the local hipster coffee shop, picked up a “Seattle Weekly”, then walked downtown (about a 7 minute walk) and saw “Kill Bill”. On the way back, I stopped back at my local irish bar (photo in a minute) and had a beer. Following that I walked up another block and got a slice of late night pizza. I went to my roof and ate it, while downing another beer. Then I went to bed, for the first time, in my new pad. This morning I woke up, rolled out to a cool little breakfast place (2 blocks away) called “Rosebud”. Had some coffee, ate some food, read my book, then went back to the new pad. City living – I could definitely be into it.

Tonight I’m off to work for my last cardiology shift. Tomorrow, I begin the dreaded wards. In the meantime, I made a rough little web page about my new apartment for the website. I haven’t linked the actual page to the rest of the site yet, but here is a direct link. Enjoy.




Hello blog - it’s me again.

Last week was one of the worst weeks I have experienced in 2004. First and foremost, my lady issues resurfaced in earnest. Decisions were made, and unmade, and the whole undying saga gave last week an air of pervasive stress, the full drama of which was distinctly agonizing. On top of that was work, which picked up ten-fold, and gave me a lot more to do in the setting of a lot less of mind to do it with. The increased patient load made my staff quite irritable as well. Furthermore, I remain in continual debate about what to do with my life, career-wise, and that uncertainty was only further exacerbated. My bad haircut was more fuel to the fire. Also, in times of stress, I tend to break out – by mid-week I had a humongous zit right in the center of my forehead. I had picked at it severely, making it even uglier and scabbed over – the whole effect of which made about half the people I encountered stop me and literally ask, “Dude, what happened to your head?” This sort of thing is NOT a mood elevator. With all this on my plate, I had to end the week by preparing and giving a 15-minute formal case presentation (on “Acquired long QT interval” for anyone interested) in front of the entire Department of Medicine during Grand Rounds while all dressed up in my Class A Uniform. Stress, stress, and more stress.

I’m glad the week is behind me.

The good new from last week is that I have officially signed a lease to live in Seattle. I went ahead and took the smaller (655 Sq ft) apartment located right in the heart of the city. Now all that remains is the sheer pain in the ass of moving. But, I’m really pumped about my new neighborhood. After signing the lease, I spent the day exploring the surrounding area on foot. My favorite coffee shop in Seattle is about 4 blocks away. An entire restaurant row is about 4-10 blocks away. A cool, old school, independent theatre is about 3 blocks up the street (where I saw “Bowling for Columbine” years ago). There are some great breakfast places and tons of restaurants all around. There are several bars, including a sassy little irish bar within view of my apartment window. The bar has a pool table, dart boards, and a decent juke box. (And if I get tired of that place, there are about 4 or 5 other bars around in a 3 block radius, several of them gay bars – so I can finally meet a good man). Finally, it’s about a 7-minute walk into the heart of downtown Seattle, admist all the sky-scrapers, mega-theatres, super restaurants, shopping centers, and the amazing new Seattle public library – which is apparently the coolest. A little further than that is the famous fish market and all my favorite sushi places. Hell, if I was really motivated, I could walk about 20-25 minutes and go to a Seahawks game. So I’m pretty damn pumped about the new digs. Now I have to only figure out how to fit all my stuff into a smaller space. I think I will be getting rid of a lot of crap…

This Saturday, I go to pick up my keys and the place is officially mine. I have my old place up until the end of June as well, which means I’ll be moving piece-meal. I’m finished with cardiology at the end of this week but next week I start the dreaded wards again. The timing is horrible, but this ward month will be a little different in that it will be a 2 resident, 1 intern ward month. (the only such month that exists all year, due to the scheduling and simply how the numbers worked out). The downside of this is that I will be doing more intern type work. The upside is that both the other resident and the intern I’m working with are very strong and so we should be some sort of super efficient team. I’m hoping the overall pain effect is less. It will be nice, on call days, to rotate the pager every few hours rather than have it on and be solely responsible every damn minute of every damn call day. We’ll see how things go, I suppose. But it shouldn’t be as bad as last ward month. And after that, summer baby, sweet summer.

Last Saturday night I went and made the unfortunate mistake of seeing Shrek 2 – Electric Boogaloo. Another title for this movie could have been “Yet Another Piece of Shit, Cash In, Rehash from Mike “One-trick-Pony-with-yet-another-Scottish-accent” Myers”.

Needless to say, I recommend avoiding that piece of tripe.


And now, I’m back to work – this whole week I’m on cardiology nights. 6 pm- 8 am. Ah, my poor, poor body clock.








I’m moving to Seattle. After months of debate, the decision is final. What isn’t final yet, is exactly where I’ll live. I’ve narrowed it down to two places. One is a bigger, cheaper, older, not as nice (but solid) place about 15-20 blocks from downtown. The other is a posher, more expensive, smaller, newer, nicer place right in the city. I’m leaning towards the latter option. The building is 2 years old, super cool looking, has a sweet work out facility, comes with parking, and has an incredible roof with a panoramic view of the entire city. The downside is that the apartment is only 657 square feet! There is a partial view of the skyline from the unit I’m thinking of getting, which is on the fourth floor. What’s coolest about it, though, is that you walk right outside and you’re in the city. I mean a 5-minute walk to the middle of downtown. There are coffee shops, bars, restaurants, and all that a mere 1-2 blocks from the entrance to the building. There’s a little city grocery store right below the building. I think it would be a blast.

I spent several days up in the city looking for places, and man the process is brutal. I worked nights most of last week (Wed-Fri night), and thus on Saturday I drove up into Seattle on about 1 hour of sleep and spent the whole day looking at apartments. By the end of the day, I was falling asleep in my car before driving from one building to the next. I’m glad I did though, because I eventually stumbled across the place I’ll likely move into.

There has been a lot of thought into the decision to move. I’ve always wanted to live in the city, and I figure this is probably the last legitimate shot I’ll have for awhile, and maybe ever. It will be sweet to be a mere walk or cab ride from all my favorite restaurants, bars, movie theaters, and coffee shops. It will be sweet not to have to drive back a half-hour plus on a night out to get home. It’ll be cool to get away from the homogeneity of Tacoma. There are two downsides. I’ll have a smaller place. And the commute. Oh, the dreaded commute will now be 50-60 minutes one way. Sounds horrific, and it is, but since I already drive 30-35 minutes one way its not the end of the world I suppose.

So that’s that, decision to live in city has been made. What remains are the exact logistics of it. To be continued…


Work has been stressful. I’m doing cardiology this month, which is a high stress month as it is. I’ve also spent a lot of time debating what I want to do with my medical career, as I’ve posted up earlier. I haven’t reached any new decisions yet, but the threat of having to make a decision is looming nearer. I’m not fired up about it.

The female situation is not good, again. That is also adding to my stress, and at the worst possible time. I’ll say no more about it here, but everything is sort of coming at me at once.

I will also say that as exciting as moving can be, it also shakes up your whole world. It seems like the one constant in my life is my apartment, and to be giving up something familiar and something secure for something new is sort of unsettling, like having the ground move beneath your feet. It’s not helping with the other stresses.


And lastly, I think I made my final trip to the Federal Way Supercuts today. I’ve been going there and getting bad haircuts for two years now, but with my move upcoming, I don’t think I’ll be going back. I had some angry female hairdresser today. She was all pissed about some “other customer” who had come back in and complained about some fancy styling job that my hairdresser might have botched. She was telling this story to the other stylists while I sat in the chair. She frequently would stop cutting my hair to help tell her story with her hands and became increasingly agitated while I just sort of sat there and grimaced, hoping she wouldn’t take her anger out on my hair.

Well, she butchered me pretty good, and I had wanted it a little shorter than she had cut it. Before I could tell her that, she took that thing off my neck and brushes me off as if to say, “OK, you’re all done”. I paused and told her that I actually wanted a little more of a trim.

“Oh, you want it shorter?!”

She starts to get annoyed and looks really put out. So the next thing I know I’m back in the chair and she starts re-cutting my hair with a vengeance, taking off huge chunks to the point where my eyes get wide. Dude. Once she started, there was no stopping her and I just say there and prayed there would be some hair left. There’s um, some. But it’s basically looks like I took a number 4 clipper to my head and then let it grow out a week. Dude. It’s not a good haircut.

Goodbye Supercuts. Thanks for the memories.




[modified]

In other news, I spent Saturday night up in Seattle with Gwen, Pete, and some other friends from work. It was a fun night.

Today, I had off and so Pete and I went looking for apartments for me up in Seattle. I’ve decided that despite the hellish commute (60 minutes one way), I’m going to go ahead and move. I’ll never get another chance to live in Seattle again, I suspect. (If I ever return here, years after the army has its way with me, it would probably be family time and the middle of the city wouldn’t be ideal). So despite the fact that moving is a pain and the commute will suck, the thing is going down. I saw some nice places today. Nothing definite yet, though. It’s still a work in progress.

On one final note, I should mention that last week I talked to my dad about slick rick financial man (see earlier posts). After two meetings with the guy (his real name is Steve), I had decided I liked his ideas and wanted to subscribe to his newsletter. When I told my dad about it, he essentially flipped and told me it was a horrible idea. Then he proceeded to break Slick Steve’s plan down bit by bit and call the whole thing one step short of a scam. The discussion here was hilarious as I played devil’s advocate to my dad – sort of using the salesman guy’s lines to defend his plan, only half-heartedly at best, and mostly just to see what my dad would say in response. My dad took each argument apart systematically and emphatically and I really couldn’t have been happier. I never liked that slick, perfectly groomed man who was way to liberal with his use of the phrase “the Lord” (in a financial brief) and I’m glad that I won’t be giving him my money. Instead, my dad and I are going to work on a couple of things financially together (part of which actually would have been in Slick Steve’s plan only I won’t have to pay anybody for stuff my dad can do) and take a slightly different savings and investment avenue.

It’s funny, though, because I remember at the first meeting, Slick Steve asked me if I had a will. When I said no, he asked, “Well, don’t you love your dad?”

Sure do, Steve – he’s been steering me clear of shady, money grubbing slick-rick types like you my whole life. Find yourself a different sucker.

Hi five Papa Stup!
I'm still not sure how to end this blog privacy dilemma. There are some things I have been looking into. One possibility coming soon - www.discostup.com LOOK OUT!

Good Weekend - more later


[modified]
Back in the world of cardiology at work today. Life is busy.

Here is the situation with my commitment to the military. After residency, I can: (residency ends July 1, 2005)

1)Go straight out without any more training (i.e. subspecializing aka fellowship) – I will owe them 4 years at that point and then be done. I could be sent anywhere and likely Iraq. Estimated get out year: 2009

2)Apply for fellowship. If I GET IT ( a big if), then I do the fellowship right out of residency. Depending on the length of the fellowship (which of course depends on what the fellowship is), I would likely do the fellowship (either 2 or 3 years more right after residency) and THEN, at that point, owe the army another 4 or 5 years, respectively. All fellowships are in Washington DC or San Antonio. (I’ll let you guess where I’d rather be…) Estimated get out year: 2010 or 2011

3)Apply for fellowhip and DON’T GET it – I can either default to number one above or I can reapply the next year/years. If you don’t get the fellowship straight out of residency (but skip time in which you are not in training), then the rules change for the worse. I won’t explain that fully or why that occurs (I’m not even sure I could), but essentially I would get out either in 2013 or 2014 if that happened.

So there’s a lot to think about. And I have to start thinking soon. Or thinking more soon, since all I do is think.

In another bit of news, it looks like I will be spending the entire month of July in Germany doing an ICU rotation at Landstuhl where they are evacuating all the messed up peeps from Iraq to. Apparently it’s a pretty crazy month. A lot of cool medicine, but a lot of heartbreaking stuff too (i.e. 22 year old kids with limbs gone or hanging off or severely burned). I’m looking forward to it (at least medically) – plus at the end of the month, the last few days, I’ll have 4-5 days of leave before coming back to the US to travel. I’ll likely pick a single city (I’m thinking Prague, right now) and go there. It’s essentially a fully paid for trip to Europe, though most of it will be working. So that’s interesting, at least….

I’m still undecided on moving to Seattle. Also a work in progress.

I’ve updated Mick Flicks with a couple of movies. I was absolutely blown away by 2001 – a space odyssey. Thank you, Stan “the man” Kubrick for another sweet effin’ movie. That guy rocks.

I’ve also toyed with a new Madden season on all-madden level. It’s uh, not going so well as my blowout wins are turning into blow out losses with essentially the same team. The kick meter moves at about mach 6 so every kickoff is out of bounds and every punt a side foot shank. (Having a rookie punter doesn’t help). Every errant pass becomes a pick. The computer breaks tackles all over the place. After 2 games of this, I’m really wishing there was a middle ground on the levels. Oh well, I shouldn’t be playing stupid video games anyway….

Lastly, today is Cinco de Mayo. I have nothing to say about that. I haven’t celebrated it in years. Today is Monica’s birthday. We chatted for about 10 minutes on my ride home from work. It’s the first time we talked since she dropped the marriage bombshell on me. Not a bad conversation, but clearly we are drifting further and further away – I welcome this. This is also the first time I talked to her since I knew she was pregnant. That’s right – pregnant. Crazy news, but I’ve known for some time, and I’m really quite ambivalent about it, in all honesty. The days of mourning for Monica are, thankfully, behind me. Happy Birthday Monica.

And with that…bedtime for Bonzo – come on kids….



I have been giving a lot of thought lately to the idea of growing up. It’s funny how such an indolently slow process can all of a sudden catch up with you. This week, as I sat in an office with my financial adviser Steve, I thought about this. Steve was sitting there, in his perfectly organized and clutter free room, with his perfectly parted hair in place, and he was asking me questions about my future plans.

“When do you think you’ll get married?”

“How many kids do you want to have?”

“How much, in non-inflation-adjusted dollars, would you like to spend on your retirement home?”

Dude. How about “I have no fucking idea” as an answer to all three of those? But Steve, in his infinite financial wisdom, probed me to give it my best guess.

When I’m 32.

Two to three kids.

I don’t know, how about 500,000 dollars?

Dude. Steve, in his calm financial-guy manner, asked me his routine set of questions. Then we went over possible financial plans. Then we debated the merits of life insurance (I’m not sure I believe in this concept). Then, we talked about how much each month I could allocate to this long term financial plan. The 2 hour interview (in which we went over my finances in depth), was enough to make my head spin.

I used to worry about what I was doing the following weekend. When my next vacation from school (and kind of school) would be. Now I’m being asked by conservatively dressed financial guy about my certain future goals, plans, and dreams. Sadly, I don’t know if I have any that are definitive. Do I want a family? Sure. Where do you want to settle? Beats me. Do you have a will? Um, no, Steve, I haven’t got around to making one yet. (But I suppose I should make one before they send me to Iraq).

Ugh. And as I sit there and ponder this, I realize that hard answers to all these questions are a part of growing up. That indolent process again. It all of a sudden catches up. And I looked around. My friend Eryn is giving financial advice to his brother. My friend Iwan says he “likes it” when he gets home “early” on Friday night. My friend Gabe has a kid. My friend Adam, well my friend Adam has been all grown up for 15 years now. I’m shaking my head over here.

And while I’m on the subject of life decisions, I have a few more I’m deliberating over.

Should I move to Seattle? I love the city, and I love the idea of being in the middle of it, of getting up on the weekends (on the permissive rotations) and already being there. There’ s so much fun stuff to do – it would be pretty sweet. On the flip side there is the heinous 55 minute one-way commute (at least it would be a reverse commute), not to mention the incredible inertia of initiating the moving process. So I’m debating it, doing some mild apartment hunting, and trying to figure it out.

Another issue (and a larger one), is what the hell should I do with my career? Yes, I will be board certified in internal medicine one way or the other. But should I sub-specialize or remain in sort of general practice? If I sub-specialize, should I pick something relatively easy with a good lifestyle yet boring or should I pick something much more intellectually and professionally rewarding yet much more grueling in lifestyle? If I sub-specialize, should I do it in the military (easier to get in, better pay during fellowship), or should I wait and get out first? Then there’s the ever present threat of an Iraq deployment looming over my head if I don’t sub-specialize.

[The chances I go to Iraq within a year or two of my finishing residency if I don’t do a fellowship right now are about 60-75%]

Iraq means this: Essentially a year of my life, roughly age 30, to be spent in some compound with about 2-4 weeks of leave back in the United States. No going outside the compound. Minimal showering. High stress.

Is this potential year enough for me to commit to an entire career choice? And if I do sub-specialize and do a fellowship, my army commitment goes up and it takes me that much longer to get out.

So all these questions, and they are coming to a head because the time to apply for fellowship is soon. Too soon. I think and think and think about it too much and get nowhere. I miss the days of winter break and the next vacation.

Financial planning. Iraq potential. Boo.


It’s Sunday night. My weekend was eventful yet not. Friday night I went into Seattle with my friend Pete and Gwen – we ate at a good Italian place called Tulio Ristorante downtown. With 2 bottles of wine on the bill, it was like 75 bucks per person. Kudos to me for yet another demonstration of outstanding fiscal responsibility.

After dinner, we headed to a bar/restaurant called the Pink Door, which is right by Pike’s Place market (or where they throw the fish in Big). There we met Michele and two of her friends. There was a drag queen singing very badly. The whole event, was, awkward. Fun, but awkward. The highlight of the night was me getting a drunken phone call from Jim Kim, my old med school buddy who was down in New Orleans for Jazz Fest. He called me from Cameron’s cell phone and boy was he drunk. It was good to chat with him.

Saturday I did very little during the day. On Saturday night, I went to a military formal event sponsored by the Department of Medicine. It’s called a Dining In. I don’t know how to describe it, other than it’s a very formal, very military game of Asshole (like the drinking game) only without cards. There’s a president, there are weird rules, there’s lots of drinking. I was in my fancy uniform. It was actually a lot of fun. Right up until the guest speaker went into his Iraq slideshow. Talk about a mood killer. His talk was disturbing, as a lot of these military sponsored things tend to be.

I could comment a lot more on this event, but for some reason I don’t feel like going into it. After the event, we changed and went to a bar. Stayed out to late. Hit Denny’s at 2:30 in the morning – later regretted it.

Today, Sunday, I lazed around the house. Worked out. Then I played a whole lot of Madden football for no good reason. I just won my third straight super bowl with the giants. It has become too easy. My team is too good. I win games by an average of 40 points and I score an average of 60 points a game. So this season coming up I’m adjusting the setting to All-Madden, which could also be called Blatant Computer Cheating mode. We’ll see how I do. The one thing I love, is that all the players do really well one year and then you can’t afford to re-sign them or keep them because they demand too much money. Realistic, these games today. So my team going into this super season will not be as good as the team I just had. I had to take some serious cap hits!

Other than that, not much. I just finished 4 weeks of an allergy/immunology rotation. It was a mellow month of allergic rhinitis (aka seasonal allergies) and me prescribing flonase and zyrtec. I read a lot of skin tests. I tested myself – my biggest allergies are grasses, followed by dust mites and cats. Zyrtec knocks em all out though.

This month coming up I’m on cardiology. It’s not a fun month. The hours average out to about 60-70 per week. There’s overnight call. There’s a lot of stress. At least it’s shift work, only 12 hour shifts, day or night. But the shifts are exhausting. It’s kind of like the wards, but focused completely on the heart. I’m on the wards again next month. Boo.

More coming through the week.