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Wednesday, March 29th, 2006 - Deployment Day 4

Baghdad International Airport, Iraq

Today has been a travel day, and that means it has been stressful. I'm sitting in a dusty and dingy terminal of BIAP (aka "Baghdad International AirPort", also called "Bye-Op" phonetically by military types). My travels north occurred sooner than I would have believed, and I found myself up at 4:30 am this morning getting my things together again for another move. We took a bus to a nearby air force base - the same one I first flew into. Then we offloaded our stuff and waited around in a terminal for the flight up to Baghdad. I saw Perk-dog at the airport again. We had been separated several days prior at Camp Buehring. I chatted with him a few hours while awaiting the flight - we were on the same plane up north and each to a separate destination from there.

When it was time to board, I gathered my laptop bag, body armor, and helmet (aka kevlar) and headed onto another bus which took us to the tarmac. Today's flight was on a military plane - a C-130 I believe. The vessel was a large open plane with an open cabin that was about two stories. There were about 30 rows of 5 seats, with two large aisles on either side, and jumpseats all along the walls of the plane. The oddest thing about flying on this thing were that there were no windows. You could feel all the usual motions, but had no sense of what was going on outside the plane. As we took off and headed to Iraq, into the lion's den, I'm not sure if the lack of visibility was a blessing or a curse. The plane was also ridiculously loud and all were encouraged/required to wear earplugs.

After about an hour in the air, we landed in Baghdad and strolled down the steps and onto another tarmac. What an odd and crazy feeling it was to say "Hey - I'm in Iraq today!" Isn't this the kind of place that only hard-core military types and Wolf Blitzer go to? Again, I'm at a loss for words - with "surreal" and its variants being the only terms I can really think of do this sort of thing justice. And the feeling this time was even stranger than the one when I landed in Kuwait, because subconsciously I knew that the danger level had just jumped several notches, even in a place (the airport) that is considered relatively safe.

There are several small posts in the larger area of the airport, all of which are fairly secure. So I hopped on a bus to the nearest eating area. I had my laptop bag, which I refuse to leave anywhere, and thus I wasn't allowed into the D-FAC (aka Dining Facility). So instead I went to a Burger King, which was staffed by local nationals and offered souvenir purchases like hats and mugs with the slogan, "Burger King - Iraq!" The guys working inside had some old school Michael Jackson pumping on their stereo and I thought again how odd it was to order a cheeseburger in Iraq, from an American fast food franchise, with "Thriller" blaring in the background. All the soft drinks are written in English on one side and Arabic on the other.

I sat down to eat and put my iPOD on to shut out the world for a while. I've had the song, "Bombs over Baghdad" by Outkast in my head all day - can't imagine why. (At one one point in the day, I even heard two very large explosions off in the distance. Funny, but that's just not the sort of thing I'm used to...) After lunch, I was going to roll to the internet cafe to check email, but an internet and phone blackout had been established earlier in the day. That means that someone in the nearby area or post had been seriously hurt or killed in the past 24-48 hours, and all outside communications are shut off untli the person's family can be notified by the Department of Defense. A grim thought, to say the least.

So I continued wandering around the airport and the nearby base, eventually taking a shuttle back to the terminal section over here. Baghdad's weather seems a little nicer than Kuwait, and aside from some ugly construction smells, the day was quite pleasant, in the low 70's. There is construction everywhere, and huge concrete barriers are seemingly omnipresent. I think it is a combination of the remnants of "Shock and Awe" as well as a lot of rebuilding going on. (At this point, and with several hours to kill, I debated taking a taxi out into downtown Baghdad, and certainly out of the "culturally devoid" green zone to see the local sights, but something held me back. Maybe, just maybe it was my intense fear of being blown up at a cafe or being taking hostage by insurgents. Not sure, I guess, but that might be it. Anyway, I didn't end up going.)

Back at the terminal, I saw Rob one last time as he and the other docs from the CASH prepared to get together and go over to the hospital. Apparently they were told they would fly there, on helicopters, but instead, because of a vehicle shortage, they have to convoy tonight at 2 am. Convoys are scary, to say the least, and neither Rob nor the other docs with that group were too thrilled by the prospect of a midnight convoy through IED country on what's literally dubbed "the most dangerous highway in the world" at this point. It didn't sound like fun. Rob and I said good bye, handshake and big hug style, and reminded each other to stay safe, and then he want on his way over to some other part of the post to prepare to leave. Best of luck, I thought, as he walked off and boarded a shuttle. And that seems to be the way people come and go during these deployments. Ah, war.

And here I sit, back in the terminal, typing way. I'm pretty stressed today. I'm told that tonight I will be flying out on a blackhawk over to my battalion's current location at FOB Falcon, which is south of Baghdad a little ways. We have to fly at night because things are reportedly "too hot" to go during the day. So this little piece of news succeeds in both making me a fan of flying at night yet keeps me from feeling fully comfortable. Odd to think that as I sit here I'm about to embark on possibly the most predicably dangerous and life-threatening event in my life until this point. And only a few hours away. The thought is...unsettling at best. But if you read this on the blog, then everything went OK and it was just one more sphinchter-tightening experience to chock up on the old life resume.

I have been dealing with the stress of deployment through various diversions. The PSP has been awesome. I play Hot Shots Golf a lot, and for hours at a time I seem to focus intensely on the little game, and that focus is what helps me get through this difficult time without having a mental breakdown. Things will be better once I'm in a secure, stable area, and no longer moving around. I'm really hoping our entire Task Force goes back down to Kuwait, and soon.

Thursday, March 30th, 2006, Deployment Day 5

FOB Falcon, Iraq

Well, I made it. The blackhawk flight came and went and it was definitely stressful and mentally intense. (The concept of fear out here is a funny thing. I certainly have a profound courage for the line grunts who roll out on the ground on patrols day in and day out - literally in harms way every second. There are all these 18-22 year olds and the NCO's above them who are doing these patrols daily, sometimes twice daily, on little sleep. At any second an IED could make their lives miserable - or end them. Sometimes, they have to man checkpoints where anyone, any time, could have pounds and pounds of explosives ready to detonate at any second. And then that's it. It's absolutely crazy, I'm telling you. And here I am, all worked up for a simple helicopter flight, and feeling like a puss for it. Yet I'll admit it - I was outwardly calm but legitimately freaked out when that chopper lifted off and began its course into the greater unsafe realm of the Baghdad night skies.)

Our group boarded the blackhawks, which I had remembered so vividly from pictures on my boy "Rowdy" Roddy's desk from residency. Rowdy also used to have pics of Blackhawks as his computer wallpaper. In person, I must say, these things are impressive. We had been at the airport all day, and I had seen multiple Chinooks (the two-bladed choppers) coming and going. When the Blackhawks finally came, they were lean and mean, flying in quickly and hard to spot. (That was good). So we got dolled up in our "full battle rattle" (aka helmet and body-armor) and marched out to the flight line - there were two choppers for the group I was in. I was in the second. We crammed into the thing with all our gear, put our earplugs in, and then sat on the helipad for about 5-10 minutes while the rotors idled, other bags were loaded and some flight checks were performed.

When it was time to roll, the lights dimmed and up front I could see the cockpit lit up all green and high-tech looking. Night ops, baby. Before we took off, all I could think of was that scene in Predator where a pre-political Jesse "The Body" Ventura was offering dip to everyone and then perturbedly called them all a bunch of slack-jawed faggots when they declined him. My smile faded, though, when we took off and it was go time. We sort of hovered in place about 30 meters in the air for about a minute. Then, we started whisking forward.

I think the flight was about 10-20 minutes, but it felt like an hour. The pilots were good - they would zig and zag and I couldn't even see the first helicopter in front of us - that's how dark it was. We definitely took an indirect, serpentine course over the city of Baghdad and ended up slightly south. The flight of the 'Hawk itself was like a subdued roller coaster, rolling and pitching intermittently. Being in the air was trippy, however. (And shockingly no amusement park glee and general carnival atmosphere to go along with the motion.) As we weaved to and fro toward our destination, I kept remembering the guy telling us, "The area's too hot during the day" and it was incredibly difficult to suppress morbid thoughts along the lines of "Well, I guess that right this second I'm one well placed rocket away from an early death." (I have played too much Battlefield Vietnam on my computer - I could picture it exactly.) The night air was cool, and when we landed in the FOB I was both very relieved and I had a new appreciation for my own mortality to boot. (Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to be out here at age 19, when everyone thinks they are invincible.)

We disembarked from the chopper and then started sauntering up to an in-processing point. Before we were fifty meters away another gaggle of people from this FOB had loaded on and the two birds were in flight once again, staying low, and disappearing very quickly. Kudos to those pilots, man, I thought, as I continued on and signed in and was taken to a different building on the FOB and to my new room. I thought that was it for the night, but while I was awaiting my bags to arrive so I could lie down (it was about 12:30 am at this point), I was greeted by an unexpected but wonderful sight. Pete Henning. That gum-chewing bastard strolled up smiling like we were walking to the beach in Cabo. He had some sweet John Wayne looking shoulder holster on and by the time the bearhug was completed, the helicopter ride was almost forgotten and I was all smiles. (It reminded me of the scene in "Return of the King" where Frodo wakes up in Rivendale after destroying the ring and sees Gandalf standing over him and then quietly says his name in disbelief. "Peeete...?")

Pete, and our Physician's Assistant (a guy named Jeff - who is a great guy - and who I had met before in Hohenfels field training back in August in Germany) helped me carry our bags over to their barracks and the three of us are currently sharing a room. I can't describe how much relief it brings to see a friendly and familiar face, even in an enviroment like this. Good old Pete - the guy hasn't changed a bit.

We went to sleep for the night. This morning Pete and I rolled to breakfast and then he showed me our current FOB ("Forward Operating Base"). We are currently on FOB Falcon, south of Baghdad. I won't reveal too many details, for fear of not doing my part to control "Op Sec" (aka Operations Security). I have no idea how long we'll be here at this FOB. I do know its not that great a place. I saw smoke billowing up from somewhere from beyond the walls in the distance today. There have been multiple IEDs in the area and the nearby town is a mixed Sunni/Shite population and sounds tenuous. People told me that they hear gunfire frequently and that our dining facility was mortared back in January. So we have that going for us, which is nice...

I think I'll leave off there for now. More in the future, of course. Once again, its good to see Pete. After dinner this evening, Pete, Jeff and I smoked cigars out in the moonlight and shot the shit a little bit. Maybe this place isn't too much unlike Cabo after all.


I took a few pics in the past week. Not too many - there are lots of signs about, especially at the airport, stating that picture taking is off limits, so mine are vague at best. But here's a smattering.



Not your average plane sight


Waiting to board the plane in El Paso


Me and Rob Perk-Dog - Texas Style


The Long Walk


"Oh Stewardess, I'll have that coffee now....Right now."



Diet Coke - Iraq Style


Good Friends in Shitty Places


Me in Baghdad at sunset - See how thrilled I look?