And though their meeting me here was under the guise of a "vacation in Europe", at least according to their public personas, it was really and truly a secret meeting to discuss the past, present, and future of Cobra. Other members of Cobra, including James Martin (Major Bludd), his wife Amy (the Baroness), and Jim Kim (Stormshadow), were off about the globe on their own missions, and unable to attend - each doing their part to help the big "C" take over the globe - which has really been our goal all along.
So for the meeting, it left Chris (Zartan), John (Destro), and myself (Cobra Commander) to take stock of Cobra's current situation and formulate a new and improved plan for world domination. Which we did, of course. Oh, and we designed a new HISS tank which we're all excited about, too.
Or something like that. OR, they came out, we went skiing in Austria, hung out, went to Heidelberg, went to Koln, and played a lot of "James Bond - Rogue Agent" (which is about 4 years out of date, but reminds me fondly of medical school) on the PS2. But either way...
(Its important to keep in mind. I have an almost unhealthy fascination with my childhood loves, including, and perhaps above all, GI Joe and Transformers. So it will come as no surprise to those who know me (and I'm glad John and Chris humored me, I might add) that much of the time this week was spent "pretending to be Cobra" as we did, oh, while doing just about anything. Like sitting at the bar with our drinks and lamenting about how tough it was to be the world's best terrorist organization these days - what with competition like Al Qaeda and Hamas. Or, talking about how Duke is so goddamned full of himself and really isn't all that sweet. (I mean, really.) Or about how we all think Dr. Mindbender is gay. Or that Serpentor really sucks. Or whatever. Between that, and all the homo-erotic talk (which accompanies me on ANY vacation, of course), we basically filled up the entire week. Everything else, including the traveling and multiple sweet locales, was purely gravy.)
So here goes, a quick recap:
The first part of our trip centered around driving down to St. Anton, Austria, and skiing/boarding there. I must say, I was quite impressed with the place. It was a great ski town, a great mountain (or really a collection of multiple mountains), and our hotel (the Hotel Kertess) was really top notch. Every morning there was a ridiculously good continental breakfast. Every night there was a splendid four-course dinner - all included with the hotel. And all drinks were fresh draft beers and easily charged to the room - not too shabby.
The first day there was some good snow from the last fresh fall, and it was a beautiful blue bird of a day. Given how scenic the Alps are, it was an absurdly breathtaking day - the pictures hardly do it justice. We cruised around the mountain and enjoyed the sun, suppressing the urge, sometimes unsuccessfully, to scream "COBRAAAAA!" at the start of every run. At the end of the ski day, about 3:30 pm or so, we hit up the Krazy Kangaroo, a mid-mountain bar, and started having some beers in the sun, which was incredibly therapeutic. I will say this for Euros - they really know how to enjoy their vacations. I was never a big beer drinker on the slopes in the States, but here in Europe its different. You roll into lunch, see those beautiful draft beers straight out of the tap, and basically say, "I'm in Europe - these Alps are sick - why the hell not?" And beer at lunch on boarding days, for some reason, tastes so good (when it hits the lips). And at the end of the day, its time for "Apres Ski", and that's just the way it is. (You are in the minority if you leave the mountain/town right after skiing. You're also called a "dummkopf" by local funboys, so beware.) Anyway, after downing a few in the "KK", we had to re-navigate the mountain, from about the middle down to the bottom. I did this, more or less, with a stiff buzz, which made every turn on my snowboard a giggly delight. (I'm not kidding - I was literally giggling.) Back at the hotel, John and I hit the spa area of the hotel, which had showers, a pool, and a sauna. Europeans love their saunas - in fact this picture, from the web site, was one of the key drawing points of the hotel. (Talk about nailing your funboy demographic with your web page layout.) What Europeans do NOT love, unfortunately, are jacuzzis, which I have found are incredibly hard to find over here. So in lieu of the hot tub, I've discovered a shower, pool, sauna, shower combo which does quite nicely at the end of a long day on the slopes.
The second day was a little bit of a let down. Most of the fresh snow was gone, the sky was very overcast, and I was physically limited by what can only be described as a nagging pain in "a bad place" which I was worried was a small hernia (turns out it wasn't). So I only boarded the morning, and then took it easy, but still managed to fit in a brat and a beer at lunch. Chris and John continued to cruise the afternoon, and then we all met up again near dinner time. Then we proceed to get quite sloshed, talk to the locals (one of the bartenders was from Sweden, and he was a pretty cool guy), and then had a sweet dinner, had more drinks, told medical school stories, lamented the fall of New Orleans to Katrina, and then went back to the room, watched "Raiders of the Lost Ark", gushed drunken nonsense about how sweet that movie is. And then I passed out.
John must have donned his Destro-mask and activated his infamous weather-dominator some time in the middle of that night. Because when we woke up the third day, we were greeted by about 10-14 inches of powder, indicating that it had snowed heavily overnight. We all got fired up. The "bad place" pain magically disappeared, and we charged off to the lifts to rip it up. What followed was one of those brilliant and magical days that can only happen in powder. Many runs, fresh tracks, heavy powder, NOT many people - it was insane. Giggles, high fives, and more giggles. Just a great day - nothing else can be said.
That night, we drove out of there and headed back home to K-town. Here's some pics.
St. Anton (town) by Gondola
Zartan is only photographed when he wants to be photographed...
Ugly, heinous-looking Alps
Powder Day!
No one could believe just how much Chris schooled that fry...
Beer, Brat, Fries, and Chocolate - and it all went right to my thighs
The next day, we hit up Heidelberg, another city about an hour away from K-town, and famous for an old-school castle. (It wasn't as sweet as Destro's castle in southern Bavaria, of course, and as John was quick to point out, but it wasn't bad...) We drove in, checked out said castle, then walked around the town a little, and then headed home once more.
Heidelberg Castle
Heidelberg City, viewed from Castle
Local Sculpture showed amazing anatomic detail - even Pete would be proud
Excellent Shopping abounds in Heidelberg - these are now Cobra issue
The next morning, I dropped Chris off at the airport, and he picked up his fiancee Marion (hope I spelled that right). Then those two rented a car, while John and I continued on north. We all met up in Koln, which was a suprisingly great city in Northwest Germany along the Rhine. We stayed in a cool hotel, found some great restaurants, and saw the local sights.
On the Sunday, we rolled around, saw the largest cathedral (Dom) in Germany, and even walked up its 520+ steps to the top. Following that, we hit up a local museum of socialism. This was located in a building that the SS had commandeered in the late 1930's and used as its Koln headquarters for most of World War II. As a result, the lower levels of the building had lots of "cells"where "enemies of the state" were kept. There was lots of graffiti on the walls, from prisoners, detailing the horrors of being a prisoner of the Nazis. Luckily, there was a pamphlet available which translated some of the things written. Not surprisingly, a lot of what was scrawled was at once disturbing and incredibly sad. On the upper level, there was an impressive exhibit dedicated to the history of German Socialism. Unfortunately, this part of the exhibit was more or less entirely in German, so we were relegated to looking at menacing pictures of Hitler, his dark and pointed stare, his generals, and other generic Nazis doing stuff. There was a even a picture which featured a guy who looked chillingly like Toht. The exhibit also detailed how the immense cathedral improbably survived the massive allied bombing of the city, which was remarkable given how big that place was. All around it was a great exhibit, but difficult at times, as these Nazi things tend to be.
In need of a good 'pick me up', we decided to head next to a Chocolate Museum located in the city, which was pretty neat, as well. Not quite the "Chocolate Factory" of Wonka fame we mayhaps were expecting, but a pretty neat place. And of course, they gave out free chocolate.
One of the most impressive things about Koln was the food. The first night we went to a middle eastern place which was excellent. On the second night, we went to some place called "Fischerman's". The food there was probably the best I've had in Europe to date. The place was tended by an uncharacteristically (for Germany) friendly and what seemed to be an exclusively gay and multi-lingual wait staff - the result of which was a line by line translation of the entire menu for us (this NEVER happens in Germany), all while the waiter was sitting on Chris's lap.
The other highlight of Koln was a small bar decorated in the style of 1930's Russia, complete with Lenin stuff, Stalin stuff, hammers, sickles, and all other sorts of retro-commie crap. The drinks all had names like "Sputnik" and the like. The bar also came with a local 70-year old alcoholic lady who made it her mission to invade our table and talk AT us for hours, in broken english, and with absolutely hideous breath. Good stuff.
On Sunday night, John and I rolled home after dinner. The next morning I took him to the airport. Chris and Marion stayed in town another week, traveling around on their own and "doing wine country" or something.
In a very small hotel elevator
Chocolate Fountain
Nice of this guy to strike a pose for me
Destro and Cobra Commander, um, are very close
Sweet Gothic Dom with not-so-sweet scaffolding
View from top of Dom
All in all a great vacation. Other fond memories of this week: (I write these mostly so I remember these things when I look back at this post several years from now.)
1)John, Chris, and I split a huge "beer tower" at the Brauhaus, here in K-town, while telling stories about med school. Talked about, about all, the infamous "Kyle Poetry" which I shall post here one day.
2)During our multiple drives this week, Chris, who was often stuck (or "crammed" when the ski stuff was involved) in the back seat, would routinely don his iPOD and more or less totally ignore John and I, who would be talking, or listening to music up front. What a jerk.
3)I think all three of us were in agreement that German rest stops and the associated restaurants are pretty sweet. I think they're state sponsored, with hot meals and good food, often self serve style. During our trip, these never ceased to impress, especially when compared to the shady US road stop counterparts.
4)I must reiterate that driving on the Autobahn, in a good car, is awesome. My BMW, can handle speeds of 120 mph without any problem, all the while seeming like its only going 70 mph. John and I made a trip from Koln to K-town in about 100 minutes. This is a 150 mile drive or so.
5)Given all the talk of Cobra that occurred during the week, I thought John and Chris might be impressed with the Transformers Soundtrack, which is conveniently kept in my car for times when I need to drive really fast. Surprisingly, they were not impressed. In fact, 'horrified' would be a better word. And yes, they are no longer my friends.
6)At one point John pointed out there are no billboards along German roads, which turned out to be 99% true. And that rocks.
7)Med School, and all that came with it, can never be re-lived. But for Cobra, well, we'll always have that one magical night in the French Quarter.
Best Wishes,
Cobra Commander
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