Can't Hardly Kuwait

Much has happened in the past few weeks. And, curse me, I've let my blogging fall behind. As I've mentioned before, writing on this thing occasionally feels like a chore. And in some weeks, I just don't have the strength to keep "my baby" updated.

There are several reasons for this. At work, my life revolves around seeing patients and then typing annoyingly tedious notes to document every piece of the encounter, all while feeling generally "behind" in the day. On top of that, life in a military hospital is saddled with inordinate amounts of additional administrative annoyances, much of it revolving around computer crap, and including taxing emails about schedules, committees, and all sorts of other bullshit. So when I get home, sitting down at my computer to write something concise is almost never on the top of my list*. And since I DO take a little pride in delivering at least a little bit of meaningful prose every time I bust out a post, it means that the right elements (mostly mood, energy, star alignment, and a lack of yearning to say 'eff it' and simply play more Madden) have to be in place for me to actually sit down and write something. Additionally, the more time I let slip by, the more of a burden I feel for having to deliver a monster post to catch up on everything. And the more time that goes by, the harder the task becomes, at least in my mind. So the further I let it go, the higher the energy it takes for me to sit down and slap out a decent post. The inertia is always building. But there are days when such strength exists, or I've made my coffee too strong, or a little bit of both.

(* - This is also why I suck at returning emails lately. I have enough email energy for about one person, Gwendolyn, and that's it. So my apologies to those who have empty inboxes for weeks on end after emailing me.)


And it appears today is such a day. There is a lot to catch up on, but only SO much will be revealed in this here post. Look for more frequent posts in the next two weeks. For starters, several weeks ago, friends John and Chris (of Tulane Med School heritage) visited for a week and we traveled about Euroland, having a blast. This visit will be addressed in another post, perhaps even later today. I also attended a soccer game (or 'match', as they call it) between the US and Poland here in Kaiserslautern last week, which was fun, even though I'm often convinced that I hate soccer. This will be addressed in another post, as well.

Today, I will focus on one thing, prior to hitting the gym (and getting absolutely HUGE, by the way), which is the most important thing, for now. It turns out that I am officially being deployed to Kuwait, to meet up with old Pete. I received paper work last week, and now its simply a matter of time. As of right now, I'm set to leave in about two weeks. At that time, as it stands right now, I will head to El Paso Texas for a "train up" of sorts, which will be similar to the thing that Gwen did prior to her leaving. (As many of you will recall, Gwen found the training and education she received to be very useful, informative, and even a little fun.)

I now hear that some of the local higher ups are trying to get it changed so that I don't have to go to El Paso first, but we'll see. If I do go to El Paso, then I would deploy directly to Kuwait from there - which unfortunately would mean that when I came back, I would have to come back to Germany THROUGH El Paso, which is so retarded that it makes perfect military sense and will probably end up happening.


(Side note. Everybody should read "Catch 22", by Joseph Heller. It is the only way to truly understand the unbelievable paradox of military planning, military strategy, military life, and everything else military. A brilliant piece of work. I recommend it to all, especially those who have spent ANY time in the military, or is close to anyone who has.)


This deployment comes as mixed news. I've been expecting it for a while now, so its certainly no big shock. And though I don't' want to be deployed all that much, this should (note the nervous italics) be a pretty cushy deployment, all things considered. I will be going in the spot that I was originally supposed to go to WAY back in September. Back then, some may recall, I was switched out (or un-switched out, which makes both more and less sense) with another doc because of administrative roadblocks at higher command levels. Well, it turns out that the other doc is now retiring (called "ETS-ing" - say the letters) from military service in June, so he needs to get his ass back here to start that process. And thus he needs a replacement. He doesn't REALLY need a replacement, though, because there is an entire brigade sitting uselessly in Kuwait, which is chock full of doctors (at least 5, who sit around and work an hour "sick call" like once every five days, with the rest being down time). But of course, by Army policy, this other doc actually DOES need a replacement. And that person - is me. Clear enough?

And so off I go. I will join this "Ready Reserve" Brigade and sit around in Kuwait, working like two days a week, spending the rest of the time hanging with my boy Pete and his taint, and catching up on pleasure reading, DVD's, and the like all the while.

So its not that bad. Its certainly not as bad as poor Gwendolyn has it. It's not Iraq. There are no IED's, mortars, or bullets firing in Kuwait. Now, as "ready reserve" (which sounds like a kind title for a scrub third-stringer on some football team), we could potentially get pushed forward into Iraq if the shit hit the fan. This worries me a little, given how frequently the words "civil war" have been mentioned in the past few weeks. But only a little. I have more faith in the army's complete inability to mobilize an entire brigade in any timely fashion than I do in the notion that this civil war issue will continue long enough to amount to anything substantial.

The amount of time I will spend in Kuwait is unclear. It appears no one knows exactly what the future plans are for this brigade. There are options and rumors floating about. One is that the ENTIRE brigade (including me) comes home in mid to late April. That would mean my actual "boots on ground" time would be less than one month. This is the most inane option, and hence the most likely in many respects.

Another option is that the entire brigade stays the entire year. (Until October or November). This option is the least likely, if the rumor mill is to be believed. On a related note, my orders are only good until Oct 2006, so this is supposedly the latest I would be deployed until. (Though orders can be changed...)

A third option, and honestly the most likely one (again courtesy of the rumor mill), is that the Brigade mostly goes home, but leaves one battalion (there are 4-5 battalions in a brigade, including the one I'm going to be a part of) behind at a time, and they rotate out every 2-3 months. As such, I will likely get 3-4 months of "boots on ground" (love that phrase) time. Its unclear when my particular battalion's turn would be, but from the rumors I've heard about THAT, we would likely go first, which would be best, in some ways, because it minimizes traveling in and out of the middle east theater. (Although in another way, it would be worst, because I would miss Gwendolyn's vacation time from her own deployment, which is in May.)

So several things are still up in the air, but it is clear that I WILL be going to Kuwait, for at least some amount of time, and in the near future.

Overall, it should work out relatively well. Its deployment, but its Kuwait. Its time away, but its not a full year, and could even be very little time at all. And being "downrange" for any time gets me to the bottom of the long and frightening doctor deployment list, which supposedly states that "everybody goes once before anybody goes twice". Plus, its almost July, which means a whole another gaggle of "fodder" docs is about to graduate residency and bend over for the needs of the US Army.

Once I leave, it will mean that five out ten of my fellow graduating internists from Madigan last year will see sand prior to even a full year going by. This is nuts. One of my friends, the esteemed John Rinard, is about to leave for Afghanistan. John is not exactly pro-military, either. And he's created a blog. (I've also linked to it on the side). So if Gwen's happy-go-lucky posts about deployment aren't enough, you can read his as well, which I encourage.

Anyway, more to come.