A New Dawn
The wards are officially over. “Mega Call” has come and gone. I arrived at work at about 6:30 am on Friday morning, took the pager at 7 am, and didn’t stop working until about 12:45 pm Saturday afternoon. Save a small 10-minute nap at a desk (while typing up a history and physical) at about 4:30 am, I was awake for a continuous 33 hours. I worked 30 of those hours. I think we ended up admitting about 12 or 13 patients to the team. I never quite know how I make it through the 4-5:30 am time frame when all my body wants to do is lie down and sleep. The desire is overwhelming, and even the 45th diet lime coke or cup of coffee isn’t enough to fight the natural urge of sleep. I seriously think I could sleep on a moving roller coaster at that point. But, once again, the 6 or 7 am burst of cortisol (your natural steroid!) arrives and even the most fatigued can wake up just a little bit and keep moving.
The staff doc (Dr. Cooper) arrived at 8 am on Saturday or so and the entire team began the day’s work. My intern on call was also beat down, but she had gotten at least a little sleep while doing the dreaded “cross cover” the night before. We shucked and jived for about four hours, my multiple tasks made easier by the thought that they were my final tasks for an entire month of wards and that after I walked out of the hospital that day I would be free of the wards for several months. Around noon, as I was finishing up, Dr. Cooper and I had a nice exchange and he was all fired up at my performance over the month; this was awesome for me to hear from a man who gives praise grudgingly at best. We shook hands and I calmly walked back to my desk, changed out of my tired scrubs, hi-fived some of the other residents, and walked out of the hospital. Huzzah!
On the way home, I immediately got on the phone to not fall asleep while driving (that’s right – I used the cell phone in the car to PREVENT an accident). After a couple of calls I went down the ole’ Harvester in Tacoma and nearly fell asleep in my omelet. After that, I drove home, took a shower, and calmly crawled into bed. It was about 3:30 pm on Saturday at that point. With the warm, post shower feeling and the fresh sheets – I was in a happy place. My last thought before I fell asleep (which happened instantly) was the happy sense of accomplishment (30 hours of work) and the justified reward (sweet slumber).
At about 7:15 pm Saturday night I was awakened by a distant pounding which turned out to be my friend George knocking loudly on my door. He was calling my cell phone at the same time. We had made plans to go out into Seattle on Saturday night. He had a friend in town and I was done with the wards, so we had all the reason to go have ourselves a big night up in the city. Sadly, the call for sleep was too great. I went to the door. George took one look at me in my boxers with my hair all over the place and four layers of glazed sleep on my face and said, “You’re not coming, are you?” I shook my head. He said to call him if I woke up. (I found out later he had called my phone about 5 times before coming to the door. I had heard none of it.)
I guess I’m a little bummed that I didn’t rally and go out into the city. From the cell phone message trail I listened to this morning (and after talking to George), it sounded like they had a fun night up there. And, what’s worse, is George found a way (through two of the girls he was hanging out with) to meet one of the beautiful waitresses we often see up at one of our favorite bars in the city. (Kell’s). And what a waste given that he is a taken man.
George’s message train on my cell phone was hilarious. Here's the gist from what I recall:
Message 1: (before dinner) – Hey Stup, it’s George. Who’s ready for a big night in the city?” **Laughs** OK dude, call me when you get up.
Message 2: Hey stup, thought you’d be up by now…Should be at dinner around 8:00 or so…
Message 3: Come on Stup, wake up! We have reservations!
Message 4: I’m outside you’re door and you’re still asleep! What the hell?!
***Here passes the door encounter***
Message 5: Stup, dinner was a blast. We’re headed over to Kell’s. These two ladies here **background cat calls** want to see you out tonight. Give us a ring!
Message 6: STUP! Where are you?! Its 10:30, you can’t still be sleeping! We’re about to get some Irish Car bombs – come on!
Message 7: Dude…you are missing the phucki….the fuchking besch night ever! I’m here…with these girls **very loud cat calls**, drinking…and fucking irish car bombs…and you’re fucking sleeping….giants suck! DUDE, we’ll be here for awhile – give me a call! Get up here!
Message 8: (this one was hard to comprehend)…you promished a big night in the city…fucknig fun night we’re having …and you’re in fucking bed…all I’m saying is that you went out like a bitch…and I’m drinking for both of us…you just finisched the wars, er wards, the FUCKING WARDS!! And you’re in bed…Now I know..you were on call and I know…but still. We had irish car bombs…and I met that waitresch..the waitresshhh…fuckin a. **CLICK**
Message 9: I’ve got someone here…who wants to say hi….say hi to Stup. **DIFFERENT VOICE, FEMALE** (Hi Stup)….**GEORGE AGAIN** See?? This is Christine, that’s right, the waitress you always wanted to meet….she’s here enow and….you’re missing it…fuckin a… **CLICK**
As for me, I stayed asleep the entire night. I woke up at 1 am, 4:30 am, and 6 am, respectively. However, it wasn’t until 9 am this morning that I finally crawled out of bed. So, after being awake for 33 hours, I followed it up with a 18 hour in-bed stint. Apparently I was tired.
After I woke, the first thing I did was listen to all the cell phone messages. I howled with laughter. With a big smile, I called George.
G: **Whisper** Hel..Hello?
M: GEORGE! What’s up buddy?!
G: Dude, not so loud…
Hilarious. Anyway, a poor hung over George told me briefly about the night and then we hung up. I’m sort of bummed I missed it – it definitely sounded like a good time and like something I could have used after a long month of wards. But there will be other nights.
So after speaking with George, I haven’t done too much today. Made some breakfast, made some coffee (I still have my habit), and did some reading, some lounging, some cleaning, and some online surfing.
On a lark, I spent some time surfing the scientology web site. It was a bizarre, odd, hilarious, and disturbing experience all at once. There was some weird and funny shit in there. This piece, from the “L. Ron Hubbard Biography” section, was particularly funny:
[Although most men might have been satisfied with such an accomplishment, L. Ron Hubbard did not stop at Dianetics. Yes, he had solved the riddle of the human mind, but there still remained unsolved questions regarding the nature of the human being himself, outstanding puzzles concerning that long-sought-after “something” we call life.]
What a guy! Apparently, after solving the “riddle” of the human mind, good old “L-Ron” kept going (I think he even tried tackling the mighty Sunday New York Times Crossword! And regarding that last sentence of the block, the musician Prince tackled similar topics in his song, “Delirious”). And this part was also funny (from the web site FAQ):
[Is man a spirit?
Yes. A short exercise can quickly answer this for anyone: If you have someone close their eyes and get a picture of a cat, they will get a mental image picture of a cat. But who exactly is looking at that picture in the mind? The answer, of course, is the human spirit itself. In Scientology we call the spirit a thetan, from the Greek letter theta, meaning thought or life or the spirit.]
Wow. And that answers that. Case closed, I guess. Take that neuroscientists! Anyway, for anyone looking for more hilarity at the expense of religious/cult/John Travolta stuff, all you need do is click here. (If you have sound, enjoy the uplifting instrumental that greets you). I contemplated taking the personality test (its free!) but it looks long and not too fun. (Though I would like to find my “toxic areas”, as the web site puts it.) Notably, I saw nothing on the web site linking the religion with “Battlefield Earth”. Shocking.
And with that, I’ll take my leave, fair blog reader. I’m sitting here, looking at my run down body and I’m thinking its time to hit the gym and enjoy the day. Tomorrow I have clinic in the afternoon. Tonight, I have a date with Eryn (and maybe Adman) to play some online games (time to get back in shape, indeed).
The wards are over. A new dawn is here. Huzzah!
