Can this blog survive?

So, in starting a web log, or online journal, I've spent way too much time thinking about what the hell the damn thing even is, or why I would want to have one. Also, I might add, the very concept of "blogs" and such were a semi-hot topic of discussion amongst relatively educated this people while downing a few beers in the beautiful Canadian Province of British Columbia this past weekend. Most of this discussion had previously occurred between myself and my good friend Leah (classmate from med school). During the weekend, however, we enlisted some outside opinions as well. At first, Leah and I were pretty much all chuckles with the concept of "blogging" using the simple but effective "....I blogged about it yesterday" as a sassy conversation capper regarding anything and everything, but mostly in reference to something relatively straight-forward and mundane presented in a tortured artist, pseudo-deep sort of way. (In other words, the humor was in our perception of what the average blogger (who we pictured to be a stuffy college kid hell-bent on becoming the next Morrissey) might think about their own writing and thoughts about the world - namely holding it in a laughably lofty regard) Example:

Me: "Leah, how many cups of coffee are you drinking these days?"

Leah: "Well, I was at two regular with a latte in the afternoon, but I switched to 2 Lattes. Sound crazy? Well, there's meaning behind it - you can read my blog last Tuesday for the full story."

Chuckles ensue for Leah and myself.

OR, another example:

Leah: "Mike, don't you think there should be more minority politicians?"

Me: "Sure there should be - all I know, Leah, is that racism sucks - see my blog, last Wednesday, for more thoughts"

Chuckles ensue.

(The key is to have the reply in a mildly condescending tone of voice)

The very idea of a "blog", at that point, was a serious source of amusement - especially since it seemed to be the trendy new cyber-chic thing to do for the networked masses - the whole "I'm crazy and wacky, I should have my own blog so everyone can see that!" sort of idea. Following those initial thoughts, however, Leah and I talked (and talked and talked) about it some more.

So what the hell is a blog? I suppose, the politically correct answer is "anything you want it to be" (say it with a flowery voice full of hope). And I guess this is true for the most part. So in browsing the various blogs of my various friends (as well as completely random blogs, links of links, etc), I've ascertained a few trends. (Oddly enough, only a tiny minority of blogs I've seen even approach the kind of pretentious thing Leah and I imagined as noted above, though its still funny to think of it that way). Blogs, for the most part, appear to range from personal records of daily events to collections of musings about anything and also often include talent showcases (art and photography mostly).

They don't really seem to be diaries, though, because for the most part I understand diaries to be a lot of innermost thoughts and vicious revenge plots and things of that nature. A public access "blog" is not an ideal setting for this sort of thing.

So, now that I still don't know what a blog really is (other than "whatever I want it to be"), I asked myself why I would want one. And to be honest, I really didn't - the whole idea came up from various friends who suggested the notion; some seriously, others jokingly. And, on a whim (in pure "me" fashion), I said what the hell and here we are. I suppose the positives are that I get to write (I enjoy writing - see my lengthy club posts, commish notes, movie rants, etc) and in some way it is fun to bounce random thoughts off of people. Also, its a good way to keep people you don't see in the greater loop of your life, which can be a good thing too.

But I see some problems with the whole thing, as well. For one, how personal do you make this damn thing? Right now - not very. Sadly, the things I enjoy discussing (and would enjoy writing about) the most are usually the most personal things, the kind of stuff you'd prefer to discuss in a hazy bar with a good friend over a beer rather than the kind of thing you'd write about willy-nilly on a public forum where anyone with a computer can see it. Can you bash work without the risk of someone at work finding about it and having a highly condemning piece of dialogue write there? Can you talk about your most recent date? What if they find out? Etc. Etc. So that presents a problem.

Also, and perhaps more importantly, who the hell am I? Over the years, I've learned that I sort of mold myself to the people around me. This sounds a little psychotic, and call it 'wanting to be loved', or whatever, but it feels like I've amassed about 18 different "Mikes" over the years. Each one is truly me, but with certain facets enhanced or downplayed based on the current crowd. I think this is some weird thing I've developed to facilitate a tighter bond with everybody I encounter; though in the past year I've noted some problems that go with it, especially when different groups merge. For the record, there's definitely a "generic San Diego Mike", a "Leah Mike", an "Eryn Mike", a "Iwan Mike", a "Cameron Mike", a "med school Mike", a "work (residency) Mike", a "Family Mike", and certainly several more, nearly one for each good friend and a few assorted for the random people. In regard to this blog, I'm sort of overwhelmed by what the hell I would type. I certainly had enough trouble with the title - should it be Mike, Stup, Discostup, Mick, Captain, or Doctor? (Or "Michael" for a very special, Papa Stup directed Blog)? For the moment the entire Blog enterprise is targeted at the San Diego crowd, and thus that's where I leave it, for now. But I can't imagine my parents, or most of the people I work with (and with whom I have a "professional", or in other words boring relationship with) ever reading this stuff - and frankly I don't really want them to. So that whole aspect leaves the greater questions of "what do I talk about?" and "who do I show this thing to?" wholly unanswered. And if I can't answer that stuff, why the hell don't I just stick to the WCD club, anyway? Its always provided the outlet I've needed.

Sadly, I think some of these issues make the average blog and possibly my blog a sort of middle ground of thought, which really feels blase in the long run. Is that sort of thing even worth writing? We've all seen the observational humor of Seinfeld. I mean, after a certain number of "Traffic sucks and here's why" posts get slapped up, is anyone still going to want to read the thing? Am I still going to want to write it?

Thus, in the greater scheme, I still have no idea what the hell I'm doing. But there go some thoughts on the whole process, for starters. So, I suppose I'll just wing it for a while and reserve the right to cancel this thing at any time.