When Eryn Attacks - Part 1

He stalks silently, coalescing from the shadows, bringing only DEATH.



On the cold and drizzly morning of December 26th, I got up early, drove to the Frankfurt airport, and picked up my long time friend Eryn Roston to begin two weeks of galavanting about the German Fatherland. (And from that moment on, from the Black Forest to Berlin, no German would be safe from two distinctly American friends with little to no reservations about making complete jackasses of themselves...)

Eryn has the distinct position of being my longest-running friend that I still keep in regular touch with. He was the second friend I ever made in San Diego, behind only the legendary Abe Rodriguez. But with Abe out of the picture now (and I realize that the phrasing there makes it seem like we murdered him - which we did) , Eryn gains that title, sitting on the oldest-friend-I-still-communicate-with depth chart slightly ahead of Marc (Fwats X) and even more ahead of a gaggle of my other San Diego boys. Eryn and I have been friends for 17 years now, a fact which makes me feel old, but in a good way.

And thus it was with no small amount of excitement that I anticipated his arrival and the two weeks of good times I knew we'd have.

People who know both Eryn and I know our dynamic a little bit. But for those who don't, it worth pointing out that both Eryn and I are quite gifted in "bringing out the jackass" in the other. I believe this to be a direct result of us forming our friendship in the giggly and immature years of high school. Of course, rather than growing out of this sort of thing - like most normal people do - Eryn and I have chosen to cling tightly to and embrace this "jack-assed-ness" and live it to the fullest every time we're together. Its not that we can't be serious together, because we can. Its just that 85% of the time - we choose not to be - and makes it for countless laughs (at least for us). More on this later - just keep this in mind as some of the events unfold...

Day 1

I picked E up in the morning and within a few minutes we were blasting out onto the Autobahn and he was telling me about the kid next to him on the airplane who for some reason wouldn't shut up about "Guild Wars" for a good chunk of the flight. A good start.

We got back to my pad (by "my" I mean "Gwen's") - I gave him a quick tour, we exchanged some X-mas gifts (he got me a board game - shock!) and then we set out onto the Kaiserslautern walk-platz to get some food and just check stuff out. The platz was as empty as I'd ever seen it, being the day after X-mas (Germans aren't shopping crazy like Americans) and it was also freezing cold. We found a place to eat serving a Euro-style buffet, though, and sat down to eat. Eryn saw his first funboy at the restaurant, some teenager with a faux-hawk and full on leather pants (at a lunch buffet, remember), and had his first (of many) exposures to Phil Collins - the Lord and Master of German Radio. In fact, I couldn't help but laugh - the restaurant was playing a Phil Collins CD - it wasn't even radio. (People never believe just how much Phil Collins dominates out here - but believe it. He rules with an Iron Fist that most people assume only David Hasslehoff can wield.)

After lunch, we walked around a bit more, then headed back to my pad. We hadn't planned anything for the first day because I was unsure of how much jet lag E would have upon landing. Dinner time rolled around and Eryn was starting to get tired. We met up with Lindsay (friend from work) and her fiancee (on leave from Iraq) and Eryn just about passed out at dinner from the jet-lagged exhaustion. So we cut out early and Eryn went to bed.

Day 2

On Day 2 (Wednesday), we went to Heidelberg, where Eryn encountered the first of several notable German people who were chuckle-worthy in their "German-ness". This lady, a tour guide (like most of the local population that we found amusing - other than funboys of course) for the centuries old Heidelberg castle, was a stoic older lady who spoke frankly and bluntly about the castle's history, it's inhabitants, etc. Our favorite part of her spiel was her look of utter disdain - in the form of a pure German scowl - which she would don after asking us if we had any questions on the material she just covered. Nobody ever had any questions, and she would scowl in disgust and storm off to the next part of the castle tour, angrily imploring the group to follow while Eryn and I mimicked impressions of the scowl. Awesome.

The castle itself was pretty cool, and I had never done the "audio" tour. When not enjoying our tour guide, Eryn and I stood in the back during this tour and compared the castle, and its defenses, to the one we'd visited in Japan. We decided that if we could take out a thousand samurai at Himeji Castle, then we could easily have taken this medieval number out without too much difficulty as well. We high-fived about it.

After visiting the castle we walked around the Heidelberg walk-platz which was cool. And by cool I mean freezing cold - a recurring theme of the trip I might add. Here we got to try out our German while buying food and stuff. We'd say a phrase and then pat ourselves on the back at just how much we were convinced that everyone around was convinced we were completely German. We high-fived about that too.

After Heidelberg, we drove back to K-town and met up with Irv Cohen and his wife Andrea for dinner at Julien's (a French place in town) where Eryn was able to catch up with them. Irv and Eryn go way back, of course, to the days of college when Eryn dated Irv's daughter Rebecca, who graduated with us from high school. Irv now works as a nephrologist reservist at Landstuhl. Its all mildly confusing. Dinner was good, though. Let's just move on.



"Sprechen Sie Jack-ass?"




Day 3

On the third day, Eryn and I met up with my friend Libby (from work) and her out-of-town friend Heidi and the four of us drove up to the little country of Luxembourg which is nestled between France and Germany. I had been once before, and Luxembourg City is a neat little place to check out. We walked around the town for a little bit. Not much stands out in my mind from this day other than the fact that it was freezing cold (again). Libby and I dragged Eryn and Heidi to sushi (even though they're both from California) because WE are so starved for decent sushi out here. Rumor had it that there was a pretty good sushi place up in those parts, and I was eager to check it out. So we went, and it was kind of a surreal place where the menu was written by, as Eryn put it, the same guy who wrote the Red Robin menu - complete with corny jokes like "this roll filled with 'cream-of-sum-young-guy". Really odd. The fish was decent, but definitely not great. Though it was nice to have sushi, any sushi, again. It had been a while for me. Our waitress was one incredibly surly asian chick - any question about anything would set her eyes rolling with a "what the hell do you want from me?" type of look. Sweet.







E and Libby

Day 4

This was Friday, December 29th, and we didn't do too much. We were leaving for Berlin the next day, so Eryn and I took it easy, sleeping in a little. Then we had some lunch at a good Himalayan place in K-town. We were joined by Libby and Pete (she had just picked up Pete from the airport as he returned from the States). After lunch, we cruised back home and made more Berlin preparations. Dinner that night was at an Italian place with Lindsay, who would also be going to Berlin with us the next day.



And there it is. Part 1 of what I suspect will be about 3 parts. Up next: New Year's in Berlin.

(Also, I will try and put up ALL the pics (there are a bunch) in a flickr album or something. For now I'll just do a few pics here and there with the posts. )