Yo VIP - Let's Kick it!

So, THIS GUY showed up on the wards at work today.

Landstuhl is funny this way. Everybody who's somebody - and sometimes not even that - comes out - usually on their own publicity campaign - to "visit the troops". We get everybody from some big VIP's (President, staff, senators, generals) to little VIP's (retired no-name sports stars, barely heard of actors, etc) and everything in between (a lot of pro wrestlers, NFL guys). Oftentimes I find this hilarious.

Today I was running around the wards, busy on call. I'm flipping through a chart and in walks this Michael Buffer with a small posse, which includes one toady who's carrying a large blue bag filled with something that turned out to be large red boxing gloves. After introducing himself to the staff, the esteemed Mr. Buffer wandered the halls, visiting the war wounded, and at each room would take out a glove and sign it with his name and "Let's Get Ready to RUMMMBLLE" written clearly on the back of it. (One of my patients showed me his.) I half expected him to start belting out his famous line every time he went into a new room, so that as I worked at the nursing station I would hear his bellow down the hall every three minutes on cue and be left shaking my head. Fortunately (and yet sadly), he did not do this.

I'm not sure how happy these VIP visits make the soldiers feel or not - most of them seem to have a whatever type of attitude. I would imagine most wounded joes would rather have their missing limb back and not have seen Michael Buffer, but I could be wrong. And as for internal medicine patients (much more likely to be the war SICK than the war wounded - or even more likely to be elderly folks having nothing to do with the war), I have no idea how it makes them feel. Oftentimes these VIPs just avoid their rooms all together, probably because it would be awkward if Michael Buffer walked into a room and said "Hey, you're 72 and got pneumonia - LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLEEEEE! Thanks for serving your country, umm, 40 years ago I mean - and here's a glove..." But again, I could be wrong.

From a staff perspective, the VIPs are mostly a nuisance. If its a general (whom I will actively AVOID if I know they are coming) who steps onto the ward, then we all have to stop what we're doing, stand at attention, and pretend to be interested in whatever "rah rah, you're doing great things for your country" monologue they have prepared for that day. Work - or care of the sick and wounded - ironically grinds to a temporary but complete halt while this happens. If its a non-military VIP, then its interesting to get a glance of the person (like when I watched the WWE's Undertaker standing there half-menacingly, half-uncomfortable and mean looking, towering over IV poles) but then the charms fade quickly.

The nursing staff, who suffer far more of these visits then I do (being on the wards all the time), are often outwardly bitter after the VIP's come in and out and slow down everybody's work. Many question if these "VIPs" are really here for the troops - or more for their own publicity agendas.

I suppose in the end, its at most harmless for these guys to come by, and if it does actually lift the spirits of Private Snuffy then I suppose its worth it. And it does make working at Landstuhl a tad more interesting than your average hospital. Nevertheless, I also can't help but wonder if the nurses are right regarding the agendas of such visits.

Thank YOU, Michael Buffer, for making me think about these things today.