Trier

Gwen returned from her week in the States on Friday. That night, Pete's taint cruised down and we all went out for a drink in downtown Kaiserslautern at a pseudo-meat-markety bar filled to the brim with funboys of both the European and active duty U.S. Military persuasion. (I should have brought the camera).

There was one particular pair of guys that we enjoyed watching immensely. They'd obviously come in together, but once in the place, they took separate tables next to each other. (Probably to avoid sitting too close together and therefore potentially having their respective "games" thrown off). They both looked like they had just come straight from the gym - all muscled out in tight expensive-looking shirts and gel-styled hair pushed into thick spikes to form a faux-mohawk-point of sorts. Then they ordered drinks and then...they just sat there. Yes, they were at adjoining tables, just sitting there and occasionally taking manly swigs of their beers, flexing as many arm and chest muscles as possible in the process. They uttered a word or two to each other maybe once every 20 minutes. The rest of the time they spent looking around, heads on swivels, concentrating mostly on staring at women while emitting their alpha-male pheremones and both keeping a 'Hello ladies, do you not realize how sweet I am?!' smug look on their faces. Classic.

Initially, I thought they may be waiting to meet other people. But no, they just sat there, having gone out together, barely speaking to one another and concentrating on their 'I am so unbelievably hot' poses. The only conversation came after one of them noticed a hot chick walk by or after one of them was amused by something on the background televisions.

All of it made me wonder what went through their heads as they were getting ready to go out for the night.

*getting ready in front of a mirror after showering after returning from the gym* "Yup, just set a new personal best on curls today. Time to go out and dazzle the ladies. (Again!) *laughs to self* I think I'll call Bill and see if he wants to check out this new bar. When we get there, we'll have a seat - but not too close (hell - we don't want people thinking we're goddam fags or some shit). We'll order some drinks, and then BAM - have to fend of all the fine bitches who want our sweet bods. " *mentally high-fives self while reaching for abrasive cologne with smug look, pausing briefly to flex and check out his biceps again when he inadvertently catches a glimpse of it in the mirror*

Something in their expressions honestly told me that at any moment they expected gaggles of women to assail them and start grinding on them right there in the bar. Then they'd be smugly appeased while grinning. (Ladies please, there's plenty of Lester to go around...) Astoundingly, this didn't happen. After about an hour and a half of sitting and not talking, they got up and left. What little we did hear was english - so they were military guys. The whole thing was classic. Pete and I were just shaking our heads. Again, I should have brought the camera.

Pete stayed over that night. The next morning we got up and took a little road trip up to Trier, which is an old Roman-era town about 70 miles north of us.

From Lonely Planet Germany:

"On the Western edge of Germany, Trier is a true highlight and well deserving of a visit. Along with Worms, it is one of the country's oldest cities, founded by the Romans as Augusta Treverorum in 15 BC and advancing to capital of the Western Roman Empire by the 3rd century. It is home to a fantastic collection of Roman monuments, and architectural gems from later ages, and gained Unesco World Heritage Site status in 1986. Trier's second heyday came in the 13th century, when its archbishops acquired the rank and power of prince-electors. In the following centuries, the town seesawed between periods of prosperity and poverty. It is the birthplace of Karl Marx (1818-83). "

We got a little bit of a late start to the day - mostly from Gwen still having a cold, but also from Pete throwing in his recently purchased Episode III into the DVD player. When we got there, we had lunch and then set about to walking around.

Unfortunately, it was like 45 degrees out and raining on and off, all of which made our pre-planned walking tour less than ideal. Regardless, we forged ahead and got to see a few of the cool relics.

Perhaps the coolest thing was the Porta Nigra, a large gate which was used as an entrance to the city.

Again, from Lonely Planet:

"Blackened by time (hence the name, Latin for 'black gate'), this brooding 2nd-century city gate is a marvel of engineering and ingenuity. Held together by nothing but iron rods, its design allowed the Romans to trap would-be attackers in the central courtyard, cleverly concealed by innocuous arched gateways. In the 11th century, Archbishop Poppo converted the secular structure into the St. Simeonirche in honor of a Greek hermit who spent a stint holed up in its east tower. "















After experiencing "The Black Gate", we cruised around and saw several of the other old structures - mostly old churches with combined Roman and gothic architecture. One church had this particularly morbid death statue sequence which have frightened the hell out of me if I was forced to sit through weekly mass as a child staring at this thing.



Young Me: "Mom, what happens if I don't pray hard enough?"

Mom: "Well, Michael, you see that statue over there?"

Young Me: *nods*

Mom: "If you don't pray hard enough, that statue will come alive and kill you while you sleep"

Young Me: *eyes wide with terror*




(We all enjoyed a laugh at these 'anatomically correct' cats)


Unfortunately, after the gate and a few churches, the rain picked up and the temperature dropped, and we decided to call it quits and hit up a coffee shop for awhile. Following that, Gwen wasn't feeling very well (and had a migraine), so we jaunted through a German department store (and admired their collection of man-thongs, which was disturbing) and then headed back to the car and headed home.

We had dinner with Big Pete in his little town (called Kusel), which is about 25 minutes away from where we live. After that, Gwen and I headed back home. She went to bed, not feeling well, and I played Madden.

Yes, the Giants are currently 7-0 in the next season, despite a rash of injuries and a few salary cap issues. I can say we are more focused this season, less concerned with stats and really all about winning that Super Bowl. The team is in a good place right now.

Trier was a pretty cool little place, and seeing all that Roman stuff made me want to play more Rome: Total War. We'll see what happens.

Oh yeah - one other thing. Prior to leaving the town, we walked through the main plaza and their was a carnival going on. This was fairly ridiculous, because it was like 45 degrees and raining out, but it was still actually pretty crowded. Amidst the crowd was THIS guy (below) who had a hair helmet that could crack a concrete wall. Unfortunately, my pictures of him are fuzzy - I had to rely on the zoom (which always makes things blurry) for fear that he would discover the truth of my picture-taking. And believe me, I didn't want to see the business end of THAT thing. Nevertheless, it was impressive. Enjoy.







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