Life in Flux

Today is my last day in Europe for the foreseeable future.

My things are gone, moved last Monday. As I watched the large truck filled with my possessions drive away, I thought there is something quite unsettling about witnessing such a thing. Makes the ground seem unsteady beneath your feet. In the end though, I suppose all I really care about are the pictures. Just about everything else is replaceable.

Man Room the First (as I now call it) is no more. In the last few weeks before I had to put Man Room the First down, I spent a lot of time there, watching movies, playing video games, and remembering the good times like how I witnessed my Giants upset the mighty Patriots two seasons ago with me jumping around like a loon the entire second half. Yup, I spent a lot of time there those last few weeks, kind of like how you might spend extra time with a dying pet remembering all the good days before the inevitable end. The good news is that though Man Room the First is now gone (destroyed, by the Empire), it will be reborn in a manner of speaking in the near future. The first body is gone, but the soul remains, and a second body will come to take its place. And when that happens, Man Room, like a phoenix, will return from the ashes once more to provide high-octane entertainment.

I was also handed papers this past Thursday (June 18th) stating I was honorably discharged from the United States Army. Technically I'm still on active duty until 30 June, but I'm in all reasonable respects completely finished. I took my uniform off for (hopefully) the last time that Thursday evening. Several beers followed. On Friday I mailed the uniform on ahead to San Diego. I'll pull it out of the closet someday, just to look at it and remember.

I've had a lot of thoughts in my head the past week as I try to make sense of my time in the Army. I used to hate that I joined, used to regret it pretty heavily in fact, but that's changed. I've made my peace. The Army is not for me, at least not long term, but I'm happy to say that I've served, even if I joined up not out of a sense of patriotic duty, but just to pay for school way back in 1998. I'm certainly glad to be done, but I must say I do look back with something resembling pride. There are things I'll never miss, like filling out 30 pieces of paper to go away for the weekend only to have that leave "denied" by a 22 year old because of a clerical error, and the like. But there's a flip-side to that coin, too. I'll never forget flying over Baghdad skies in a winding Blackhawk worrying about rockets or feeling the hot sand pound my face right before boarding that Chinook to go on R&R leave back in the summer of 2006, or how I felt when I landed on US soil for that same leave and what it meant to me on that day. Nor will I ever forget the soldiers I knew that died in our battalion, or standing hot, tired, and beleaguered at their memorial services listening to the "Taps" melody play while guns were fired into the air and just trying to keep it together. These are the things I think about now every time I hear the national anthem at a sporting event, or anywhere else. So I would be lying if I said my time in service didn't give me a small sense of pride.


A part of me will miss Europe, too. I must say it's been pretty awesome to be able to live here and experience this place the last several years. I'll certainly miss the superior driving (and driving rules) of the Germans. And I'll miss the superior German beer, the travel options, and the overall scenery. But I think a bigger part of me is ready to go back to The States. As neat as this place in some regards, I would always be an outsider here and I'm not sure I could ever call it home.

And so a new chapter is about to begin. A new beginning in an old town - San Diego, California. I still remember 11 years ago making the difficulty decision to actively NOT apply to California Medical Schools so that I could see and experience something else, be somewhere else. Go out and see the world or whatever. Well, thanks to that decision and the Army, of all things, I think I've done that. And now frankly, from my perspective, it's time to head home.

Lord of the Funboys no more, just Discostup, a ordinary civilian citizen, looking forward to the next phase.

See you all on the other side of the pond.