"South Africans battle baboons in city streets"

This is a pretty typical headline these days, and it certainly piqued my interest while browsing cnn.com this afternoon. In fact, before I make fun of just how ridiculous and exaggerated this headline is, I really should give pause and think of how well it worked on me. Damn those marketing guys are good.

I read a lot of science/fantasy fiction, and so when I see a headline like this, I immediately think of an unchecked ARMY of baboons, led by a grizzled gray-haired elder baboon (presumably with an eye patch), brandishing makeshift clubs, charging into the city, breaking car windows, bashing the hell out of patio furniture, and frenzying en mass to pummel and fling feces at some poor villagers caught in the open, stopping their hellish cavalcade only briefly to let out loud whoops and bare fangs before diving in again.

That is what I imagine, and I don't know why, but I find it hilarious.

So when I watch the video attached to this link:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/africa/04/26/baboons.south.africa/index.html?hpt=C2

I feel like I've been duped again by the headlines. It appears the baboon "war" has been slightly exaggerated.


Despite the letdown, I remain amused. What I find funny, even in this video, are the photos of baboons getting into stuff: Baboons running around on the roofs, baboons prying at car door handles as if mid-carjacking, and best of all, one random baboon trying to work a cell phone.

I'm sure some poor bastard left his cell phone lying around outside at some point, only to realize it a moment later after hearing a wild shriek from out on the patio. He probably ran outside, already too too late but just in time to see some red-assed baboon sprinting the other direction, whooping it up with his new toy.

Then, I imagine with glee, that same guy staring helplessly as the baboon sat down and tried to work the thing from the safety of a large rock it had just scampered up.

"Hey Joe, what's going on?"

Angry point...

"That baboon stole my phone!"

That is hilarious to me, and made no less comical by the fact that the word "baboon" is inherently amusing in itself. It seems to imply by its very phonetics an aggressive yet impish primate who loves to get in to shit and then promptly whoop it up.


I for one, greet this "battle with baboons", with open arms.






I can't believe much the owner of that phone was schooled by this baboon. And how awesome would it be if this baboon took a picture of its junk and texted it to all the contacts on the phone?