"Hitler - you DON'T complete me."
So at my urging Gwen and I saw "Valkyrie" tonight.
I will admit I was sort of irrationally fired up to see Valkyrie. The thing is, I love World War II, and I especially love the European Theater and all things involving Nazi Germany. Well not ALL things but you get the point. I've been hooked a long time - I even sat down and read "The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich" a while back. It's a 1500 page book, and one with small print and few pictures - that's how much I love World War II and the Germany of that era. Plus, I like Bryan Singer. He's got a few good flicks under his belt, and so I thought what the hell?
Despite being a tad overexcited, I knew that Tom Cruise could very well hold this movie back. I saw this blurb from a critic on Rotten Tomatoes before going in:
"Think of Valkyrie as a reasonably entertaining drama about the time Tom Cruise tried to kill Hitler. Do that, and it becomes possible to enjoy the movie."
That about perfectly sums things up.
My favorite thing about Tom Cruise is that any time you watch a movie with him, you can be absolutely sure he'll be playing Tom Cruise, Movie Star. Even in Tropic Thunder, where they tried hiding him under sixty pounds of fleshy make-up, he still came shining through as Tom Cruise.
So what would it be like if Maverick ("That's right - Hitler - I am dangerous"), or Cole Trickle ("There's nothin' I can't do with a time bomb"), or Jerry Maguire (above), or Ethan Hunt ("Hitler - you've never seen me very upset"), or Tom Cruise had tried to kill Hitler?
Well thanks to Valkyrie now we know. With curt nods, perfect posture, and the ever present uber-precise I'm-losing-my-patience-with-you diction, Cruise's incarnation of Colonel Von Staffenburg is so Tom Cruise it's as if Lord Xenu himself had used his vast powers over time and space to project cruise back to 1940's Germany in a plot to kill Hitler.
The good thing about most movies with Tom Cruise is that after a few shakes of the head and silent giggles in the beginning of the movie (all because you can't believe Tom Cruise, Movie Star, is trying to pretend he's someone else - especially a German Wermacht Colonel without the slightest trace of German in his voice), you eventually forget about it, or just accept him, or whatever. And it becomes less of a big deal.
And then you settle in and enjoy the movie, which is overall actually pretty good, and ends well despite the known outcome. In Rise and Fall, there were a few pages dedicated to this particular chapter in Nazi Germany and it was kind of cool to see how much time they put into making things as historically accurate as possible. For example, Hiter's life was literally saved by a thick wooden table leg on that occasion.
The rest of the movie, save Cruise who plays himself (which he does well), is very well acted, thanks in part to the host of British character actors who were brought in to play, ironically, a host of German officers. Most impressively, Terence Stamp - aka the one and only General Zod - plays General Beck, who, while not nearly as cool or powerful as Zod, still has his heart in the right place. Hey look, when General Zod throws his weight behind a plot to kill Hitler, I do too - that's my policy. I'm sure that's how they rallied lots of folks to their cause.
Hitler himself and his inner circle have quite the creepy vibe going on (especially Joseph Goebbels) and more or less get the job done, though at times it might be toned up just a hair, like when Hitler strokes a huge (and suprisingly ugly) German Shepherd's muzzle with a Dr. Evil sort of grin on his face. I'm sure that's just how he was in all his staff meetings.
Anyway, I give it a B. I liked it, I got what I expected, I was never bored, and I got to watch a well-produced movie set in Nazy Germany. Oh, and I got to see Tom Cruise.
I will now kneel before Zod.
General Zod didn't like Superman OR Hitler.
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