A Long Time Ago....

The end of an era is here.

Tonight, the final official chapter (all side stories, comics, books, TV spin-offs, etc. aside) of Star Wars will be unveiled. And I find myself looking back on a life with the saga.

The most interesting thing for me about the Star Wars saga is how much it has undoubtedly been a significant part of my life ever since I can remember anything. In some difficult to describe way, I really think that it has had a meaningful hand in shaping who I am. And certainly it has done so to more extent than any other film series or piece of audiovisual entertainment ever has.

The first movie I ever saw in a movie theater was "The Empire Strikes Back" in 1980. I was 5 years old. To be honest, I remember we went to a late show and I fell asleep about the time when Luke got to Dagobah. However, before that, I had my little hands full and little eyes aglow with the most spectacular piece of amazing and imaginative entertainment I had ever scene. The battle of Hoth still ranks among the coolest scenes in cinematic history for me. Not only is it a great scene that holds up, but it brings with it an instant nostalgic chill factor as well. As a 5-year old boy, I was so mesmerized and transfixed by that scene that I think it alone sparked an entire childhood full of desires for Star Wars toys, GI Joes, Transformers, and everything else fictionally imaginative that made my tastes in those areas what they are today.

In 1983 I was 8 years old when "Return of the Jedi" came out. It came out on a Wednesday and we saw it on a Friday after school (I remember that the 2 days of knowing it was out, knowing my best friend had seen it, and still having to wait all the way until Friday to view it were absolute torture). My parents and I (this was before my sister) waited in line, in the rain, for about 2 hours to go see it in Lawrenceville, New Jersey. And it blew me away. To this day, I would have to say that "Return of the Jedi" is in my top 3 of all time movie theater experiences. For 2 plus hours I was absolutely glued to that screen, taking in everything and feeling exhilarated the entire time. I was in that simple state of nirvana that can only be attained during childhood. Afterwards, my parents bought me a toy lightsaber and I spent hours and hours running around the house pretending I was a magnificent jedi battling the forces of evil. Ah, to be young again.

During high school Star Wars reached uber-cult status and, other than some ewok scenes and a tarzan yell, could do no wrong. I remember going to see a special viewing of all three movies (in the theater!) and being so pumped on it. When I was in college, the re-releases of the big three came out and I waited in line on opening night all three times. And despite the aside of discussing the newest nuances, that powerful nostalgia was once again present and exquisitely gratifying. Star Wars, was indeed the coolest.

The timing of the original saga, to include the re-releases, encompassing the first 21 glowing years of my life, was perfect. If at that time I had to sit down and write a book listing 100 reasons why life is grand, you can bet that "The Star Wars Trilogy" would have been high on that list.

And with that, I don't want to spend a lot of time writing about the most recent 2 films and my already well known thoughts. I will say that I am probably particularly harsh on them because they represent such a legendary fall from grace. Its as if Episode 1 and 2 are capable of ripping away some of that symbolic childhood and adolescent goodness supplied by the original trilogy. How dare they come along and cheapen that? Of course, they don't really cheapen it - rather I, like anybody, only allow my now much more adult perspective (and much higher expectations) to interfere with that sense of wonder and bliss attainable only in childhood. Its an unfair comparison, but also impossible to not make given the power that original trilogy still holds for me.

Given such contrasting thoughts, I still look forward to tonight. It really is the end of an era.

I have SO MANY awesome memories of Star Wars, ranging from the powerful sense that I could do anything if I believed in it and myself (this trite but important childhood dream of achievement definitely stems disproportionately from visions of Luke Skywalker and Star Wars) to the countless other little but meaningful thrills along the way (for example like from playing the video game X-wing and then humming the familiar tune while jogging warm laps at track practice with Adam), that I can't help but be excited by this.

Tonight is the last time I will ever see a Star Wars movie for the first time. Ever. And that is a powerful thought, given all that has gone before. I may be older and much more bitter, and when all is said and done I may end up hating the movie. But when those curtains come up and that Lucasfilm logo comes on and that music begins, I will be in a particular special happy place, at least briefly, that only Star Wars can get me to because of its lifetime of memories and influence.

The film itself will certainly be debatable, but the experience of seeing "Sith" in the theater, knowing that it is a finale on many levels, will certainly be potent. I'm hoping and betting that Lucas still has something to give, that his prequels by design were probably one movie stretched over three (with most of his vision coming alive in "Sith"). But those assumptions are neither here nor there.

For me, tonight is about reliving the Star Wars magic that has so been a part of my life all these years. It may sound ridiculous, but it really does represent more than I could possibly understand or express about myself and about how I see things. And though tonight is the last time I will see something NEW from Star Wars, it is the sensation of the OLD that I will cling to. It's that music, those memories, that vibe, and that feel of existing a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. The one that makes the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up and that warm feeling flood over, around, and through me. That Force, if you will. And, if only transiently, it'll be like I'm 8 years old again running around saving the universe with a lightsaber in my hand and the world at my feet. Ah, I absolutely cannot wait!

Mick

PS - In all seriousness, how good is John Williams? I have all 3 of the original soundtracks in my CD player randomly shuffling as I type this, and I can't believe how much emotion and energy is wrapped up in those riffs. Every once in a while I do that, just put the soundtracks on. And no matter what menial task I'm performing around the house, its resounding significance is immediately amplified by a factor of a thousand. All of a sudden I'm not just folding laundry, I'm folding laundry with all the awe and majesty of a Sith Lord leading his fleet out of hyperspace as the Imperial March blares! I'm not just doing dishes, I'm doing them with the fate in the balance intensity of Luke Skywalker leading an assault on the death star! John Williams, did I ever tell you you're my hero? May the Force be with you.